Almost The End of Year 2009

What i did recently??? What happen recently???

I have a big problem on my University room at Switzerland. I'm so sad on it, the miscommunication make me got to delay my study aboard time from January to August. I wish it can be settled but it failed. =(

Clubbing with Michelle gang everyday from 19th December till 27 December and drunk drunk drunk every night. Don't ask me why I drunk every night, I don't want to explain. My dearest will know what's going on to me.

Other than clubbing, I went shopping with dear Nicole on 23rd of December at Times Square. Pass her the Christmas gift but i spend RM1000 on that day. Bought Espirit shirts and Puma stuff and 2 pieces of shirts. Enjoy the day with my dear, mUaCkSsSs~~~

Celebrate Year 2009 Christmas Eve with my primary school friends at The E-Curve, Library. I went dinner with SeikYing at The Fish Manhattan. Very full cause 2 of us eating 3 people meal but is delicious and worth. =D

Now waiting for New Year Eve and all the party before and after New Year. My schedule is already full with parties, appointments, dates and bla bla bla. After all these, I got to be very hardworking on jobs and be good girl again. =P

*Love everyone who love me

*Miss everyone who miss me

*Care everyone who care me

*Kiss everyone who kiss me

“你们”

我哭了~~~ 我再也压抑不了那种心情了。我没有你们想象中的坚强，我也有想要依靠的时候。我不是不倒翁，因为我终于倒了。。。

我不曾埋怨，我努力向前，你们有看到吗？？？我努力了这么多年，我从来没有要求任何的奖赏。你们让我一次又一次地失望了。

我情愿你们不曾给我希望，至少我现在不会失望。我做的多好，那又怎样？？？因为这一切，只有我自己知道，我自己珍惜。

我不会再问了，我选择放弃，因为我不想再痛了。既然没有奇迹，我就继续我应该走的路。我不问，也请你们不要过问我的生活。

我接下来的路有多辛苦，也不再是你们的忧虑了，也不再是你们的问题了。我该做的，我必定会办妥，我会坚强为自己走下去。

1 Day before X'Mas

What i going to do during this Christmas? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and the right person is not with me on the celebration. I prepared everything but it seems like a lonely Christmas for me cause you no longer with me. Where are you??? The distance is so close but the feeling is so far. I promise myself not to cry anymore but I just lost control. Still remember i told you about the sticker photo things??? I'm waiting you to make it come true even I know it is mission impossible. I don't want to have my Christmas meal alone, I wish you will accompany me. I want all the photos about this White Christmas with you. Let me have a great memory before I go cause I know this might be the last time. I want nothing on this Christmas but only YOU.

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

Wish all of you, Merry Christmas~~~ =)

Chocolate BB

He is my BB, Chocolate(very leng zai loh). He is mixed of ShihSzu and ???(no idea who is the father). He came to my house already 3 years ++ and officially he is my son. HeHe~~~ I love him so much cause.....................(personal reason).

Last year, he went for an operation to cut off his tail. He was too boring on his life and start biting his tail. Imagine how silly is him!!! 2 times he did that and the doctor said must cut off the tail, we got no choice. =( Now he become a tail-less BB but still look cute and a bit naughty(actually is playful). I cried together with him when he admitted in hospital, i think is my fault for being so careless.

My whole family love him deeply and he being manja by everyone. He scared on thunder but like to play with water. He will walk here and there when thunder or even fireworks happened but go out during rainy day. Just like drama, somebody worry on something and start walking in the living room. HaHa~~~

Almost 3 years, he still barked to the postman and the newspaper deliver man. This seems like his habit, maybe is the way he communicate to them by asking 'How are you today my brother?' >.<>

My papa like to talk to him before he locked all the door, 'Chocolate, go sleep now' or 'Chocolate, where are you?' My mama like to massage him with her leg and he enjoy very much, even have a smile face. My grandma, 'Go out to look after the house' when he came in the living room. Me??? 'BB, kiss kiss', 'BB, mama sayang', these are what i usually say. He like to stick with me and he know when to stick with me.

Smart BB... When I'm not happy, he know that and he will just lying beside me and keep quiet. Recently, he bing very EMO. I'm wondering what happen to him but i realize my maid who take care him all these time back to Indonesia so maybe he miss her a lot. He eat very little currently, 1 meal per day. End up, my sister got to buy some snack for him. See... How we love him!!! ^_^

BB, will you miss mama when mama is not here??? Mama will miss you a lot cause I Love You.

这就叫“朋友”

认识你，应该是我人生另一个成长的记录。你教会了我，朋友是用来：出卖，利用，背叛！！！不需要否认，这一切你都作了，而且不是一次了。你要我怎样去相信你，怎样去继续我们的友情？？？你那虚假的脸，让我很想吐，甚至从你口中说的每一句话，我现在都觉得很恶心。我掏心跟你当朋友，如今换来你现在给我的所有，“谢谢你”。我不会再相信你的话，因为我看清楚了。不要逼我把你的面具撤下来，我还不想那么绝情。我不像你，我还是人，有血有泪，有情有义。送你一句话，人在做，天在看！！！

很累咯

我不止是身体的累，也对周遭的事物感到很累。最近都在凌晨或是早上才入睡，下午才起床，胃口也不好，一天才吃1到2餐。在所有人眼里，我的生活很充实，时间都排得满满的。一个接一个节目，基本上我应该不会觉得闷，但是我都把这些节目一一推掉，只想留在家里，关在房里，除了工作，我就在家。现在你知道我的累是怎样来的咯。。。

我在KDU的期末考试，下个星期就要领成绩了。换句话说，我出国深造的时间也正式进入倒数。前天晚上接到大学的通知，我的房间出了问题，弄得我有点不开心。可是，事实往往没有像计划中的美好。现在，我惟有再为房间的事情而头疼几天，应该不会有什么大问题吧！！！我出国后，你们会想我吗？？？会忘记我吗？？？ >.<

傻傻的树恩要出去了。。。我会继续update你们我的近况。想我，爱我哦！！！

Migraine

我的天啊。。。几乎虚脱，偏头痛又回来了。

早上8点到傍晚6点，我这整天都被它折磨，痛得我只会哭。

我吃错东西了吗？？？

刚刚检查最近吃的，做的。。。

Chocolate吃多了，sunshine对多了，睡觉时间短了，也因为这样偏头痛回来了。

我不敢跟妈妈说，不然一定会挨骂的。

如果我到了瑞士，“它”来找我的话，我该怎么办啊？？？

HaizZzZz。。。不想了，顺其自然吧！！！

这几天都忙着工作和圣诞节的事情，少不了深造咯。

你呢？？？跟我分享一下你的近况啦！！！

还是那句，我很快乐，很开心。。。=)

逼近

看着每一秒钟在我身边擦身而过，我很想捉住这些时间，可惜那只是我想而已。我还怕失去，所以一直纠缠，到现在我要学会放开，其实那样大家都会好过点，至少我现在很快乐。

开始在忙大学的所有手续，我的心突然变得很承重，就连步伐也让我觉得很吃力。我知道为什么，每个人都在担心我。外表很独立，其实内心却很粘家，从来没有一个人离开家里，更别说是现在要出国深造。

我故意把时间填满，工作和玩乐让我暂时忘记深造的事情。我很享受现今的生活，因为我每天都在笑着。我身边的你们也一样吗？？？我最近作了一个承诺，我不会乱想其他，只想维持每一段友谊，好让我的世界是完美的。友谊万岁。。。

妈妈又来了，她很忧虑了，她的每一句话变得很“无理取闹”。她的担忧让我忍住泪水，强挤笑容去安慰。我是你的骄傲，以前是，现在是，将来也是。你可以放心，我会学习成长的。答应你的，我一定会做到，因为我很爱你，妈妈。

身边的朋友也开始知道我深造的事情。我开始在你们的脸上看到不舍，也在我的脸颊摸到泪水。我的世界因为你们而精彩，也因为你们无时无刻地陪伴，我快乐了。记得，不准哭。等我转身离开的时候，我们才哭，我真的会不舍的。

这是写给妈妈和朋友的。。。迟点我会一一点名来记录我们的日子。

FRIENDS FOREVER

3:48am

现在已经是凌晨3点多了，我还是不能入睡。刚刚吃完一大碗冷冷的爱玉冰，如果被妈妈知道，我想一定被她狂骂一顿了。说得也奇怪，最近我老是在半夜的时候吃一大堆东西，我真担心会变胖妹妹。我要开始控制了~~~


昨天从我睡醒开始，妈妈就跟我谈起深造的事情，我甚至有点不耐烦了。我不是故意要发脾气的，我害怕面对，所以用很不好的语气去跟她聊。对不起，我不是故意的。断断续续，我们聊了差不多3个小时，因为要出门，所以对话暂停了。

跟她聊天的画面反反复复地浮现在我的脑海里，我很想传简讯像她道歉，为了我不礼貌的语气而道歉，最终我还是没做到。树恩，你到底在搞什么啊？？？我知道她为什么要一直问我同样的问题，但是我不想老是提着。

晚餐回到家，爸妈都还没睡。突然，他们开始了我深造的话题，我无奈地坐在客厅又开始同样的话题。那一瞬间，我知道大家都已经接受那是一个事实了。她的一句话，我看到她笑得很不自然，眼睛红红的，我知道她哽咽了。

她担心，她忧虑，她不安。。。我除了向她解释，让她明白，我还能做什么？？？我不敢叫她放心，我知道她一定办不到，她只会变本加厉地胡思乱想。妈妈，树恩爱你，树恩疼你，树恩只想你安康。

明白

5天了，我让大家担心了我5天。我真坏蛋，可是不准打我哦！！！>.<

“他”的来电很厉害，把我骂得狗血淋头，还哭到差点喘不过气，但是我想通了。就像“他”说的，如果感情一直是单方面在努力，那为什么不要把它简单化，就干脆当朋友。没想到，“他”比我更早领悟这番话。“你”也说过，我们会从朋友开始再出发。那。。。就让我们从新出发吧。=)

接下来的计划？？？好多东西要办哦！！！天啊。。。您能不能把1天的时间拉长至48个小时？？？因为我要用24个小时来睡觉&吃喝玩乐，18个小时来办我的东西，6个小时去打工。哈哈。。。好像是超棒的安排哦！！！

也是时候要想想圣诞节的礼物了，今年要什么呢？？？

1。相机（Digital, DSRL）

2。手表（CK, DKNY, Swatch）

3。手机（SE, Samsung, Blackberry）

4。手提电脑（Fujitsu, Sony）

5。包包（Gucci, DKNY）

还有很多的，我不好意思一次写完出来，显得我好像很贪心（其实我还蛮贪心的）。=p 有谁愿意一一实现我的愿望呢？？？你。。。就是你。。。不要回头看，是你啦。。。

实际上我今年只想跟我身边的好朋友和家人一起吃圣诞大餐，我就很满足了。可是我一定要吃自助餐，因为我可以一直吃，一直吃，直到时间到为止。哈哈。。。这就是我对自助餐的痴恋了。你们快点想想圣诞大餐的地点啦！！！

还有什么东西想做呢？？？去Genting Theme Park玩一整天，去溜冰，去Sunway Lagoon玩一整天，去拍大头贴，去clubbing。原谅我那么地好玩，因为到了瑞士，我就要努力，努力，再努力念书了。让我疯狂2个月吧！！！=p

有点累了，我去做猪咯。想我就打给我，SMS也可以。=）MUACKSSSS

Before I Leave

Haizzzz~~~ Finally i got the depart date already. =(

Not much ppl know i'm leaving soon, don't want to bring the sadness feeling so early to all my dearest fellow frenz. I wish to have fun with u all in the coming 2 months as what u all know I love U All so so so much.

1st, i told my dear Nicole before she went to China tour. I feel sad when i heard her voice, she is my best buddy in KL. She know a lot of me, she understand me very well and i do so. Thank God for giving me this best buddy. =)

Mama seems like don't want to i Switzerland now. She start giving all the non-reasonable reasons to stop me from going there. I know how she feel coz i'm her daughter forever. Just wanna let she know, MaMa~~~ Ann will take good care of herself over thr.

Papa didn't express much of himself in front of me, not even ask me anything about the study. I can understand why bcoz he know i can handle everything at Switzerland, he proud of me. I promise will do the best at thr. I swear...

Grandma hasn't know the news yet. Nobody wanna tell her, she will cry. These are what she always tell my mama, 'Ann very independent, i can sleep tight when you n ur husband are not in.' Guess how she will be when she know i'm leaving soon. T__T

My brother n sister just know a bit on it. The eldest sister doesn't want to let them know also. We are not so close to each other but i sayang both of them. Nothing got to change our relationship as a family. ^_^

Who else know i'm leaving??? Dawn, ShinYee, Apple, Shan, Nikki, Wills, etc... YOU knew that also. Are we trying to pretend??? We don't even talk about that to each other, is bcoz my tears??? I will appreciated the coming 2 months' times with YOU.

Another few more days to my final. I'm doing my revision everyday as what YOU told me. I will study hard. I love u, PAPA & MAMA & KELVIN & STELLA & POPO & YOU~~~ T___T

说出口

We did a great job on the Penang assignment and the presentation. Thanks to everyone who participated on the work, u all r the BEST. Dawn, ShinYee, Apple, Ro, Ali and Leian...

终于做了最后的决定，明年一月尾要到瑞士深造。我一直告诉所有的人，我不想流着眼泪看着你离开，所以自私地选择要流着眼泪，背着你离开。说穿了，还不因为‘不舍得’而已。不舍得现在的一切，但是深造是一定要完成的。早点完成，那以后就不会有那么多顾虑了。我不知道该如何告诉你，晚上跟你发简讯的时候，我们谈了心中的话。我希望这段时候，我们是幸福，快乐的，就像是我们一开始的时候。

好好准备接下来的每一科，一定要把它们击倒。我也会开始准备我的期末考。一起努力哦。。。

Notty Joanne

Finally im totally awake from hang over. Still remember i went to Coco Banana with friends last Saturday???

It should be a great night but i spoiled it. I don't even care about my own image. I know i not suppose to drunk at that night.

I need to work hard on the last assignment and also start revise on my final exam. Another 2 weeks to go, must fight for it. Let's study hard...

GAMBATEH~~~

Facebook

OMG... Day & Night with my laptop n Facebook ON. Fish World & Cafe World everyday. Worst, i even woke up in the midnight to play these games. Haizzzzzzzzzz... MaMa said childish Joanne, hardworking on playing game only!!! HeHe~~~ I think so but i enjoy the time. =P

FB-ing again at college. However my lovely darling Dawn like to play with these, hanged ppl pc by sending [!@#$%^&*()_+] msg thru Facebook. She always do that even i'm beside her. Notty Dawn, some more laugh when see our pc hanged. >.<

GTG to office loh~~~ Boring training n meeting. =.=" SMS me if u boring coz im boring also. Wahaha... xD

LiFe

Recently busy on my assignments and presentations plus working and meeting!!! Wanna know, am i happy now???

Mama ask about the further study again!!! I really got no idea loh. PlzZzZz... Can someone help me??? I'm so scared to move to a new place alone and so far away from all my lovely~~~ T____T As i know, u all proud of me n wish i can have better future but.........................

HaizZzZzZz... Hate to make decision!!! Is harder than solving add maths question. ^_^ Oppppssss... I leave out something on my last post, my French test 71/100. Can't believe i did well in the test leh. SMART JOANNE!!! HaHa~~~=)

My SE W910i was sent to 'hospital', auto on off everyday, i scared it will booooooom in a day. Wakaka~~~ During the moment i get my new phone coz dont want wait SE W910i 'discharge'. BLACKBERRY CURVE(11st Octorber 2009) is now with me!!! As a gift for myself la coz i so guai... =p

Must stop and go ooi ooit already, tomorrow morning got class. I will go if i manage to wake up on time. HeHe~~~ MUACKSSSSSSSSS

Crazy Life~~~

Hello all~~~ I'm damn lazy recently and also a bit busy la. I can only updated once a month. What i did n happened on me??? A lot a lot to share leh...

Before i went for the study trip, i always hang out with my dear Nicole. We go yam cha, shopping. Kind like a busy life hor!!! HeHe~~~ But very long time didnt hang out with her jor loh coz she busy busy busy. ^_^

1st, i went Penang with KDU coursemates, a 3 days 2 nights trip. I had a fun time with they all, especially IHTM 8 classmates. U all r great, i proud to have a gang of frenz as u all. I sleep with my 'lao po' ShinYee n darling Dawn same room with dear Apple for the 2 nights.

Chit chat with her till 4am the 1st night and wake up at 7am in the next day. 2nd night, played n drank at beach till 1am but my 'lao po' drunk already so Heng came to our room n take care her. So sweet leh~~~

But then, i didn't eat Asam Laksa at thr loh. The stupid tour guide bring us to a night market with nothing nice to eat. Blek blek blek~~~

After that, i busy on my assignments. 3 assignments to finish up and i almost slept at 3am every night. Pity Joanne, the panda eyes till now still haven't reduce. Soon can send me to zoo for exhibition, Malaysia Panda Bear Joanne.

Yam Cha

I still havent sleep, already 2am. Drinking my cold cold Milo n blogging now.

Friday go yam cha with my dear dear Shan. This meet up already planned for few months but she busy on assignments plus exam. Finally we made it on Friday night at Kuchai Lama PappaRich.

Our topics really that much. From 8pm to 10 something still havent finish. She is another best frenz who know me very well, I cant hide everything from her. HeHe... >.<

Both of us really funny n damn like to act, silly acting make us laugh the whole night. She is my 'master' of bluffing, teach me all the bad things. Wakaka... =)

OMG... She said she is fat but i can only see her panda eyes. Dear dear Shan ar, u think too much la. FAT r too far away from us, we r SLIM~~~ ^_^

Ermmmm... Dear dear Shan, im here to wish u all the best on everything. U should know what i means. I like to see u smile more than stress--pretty Princess Shan.

Before u finish ur 'long long' holiday, we must go gai gai again ar. If not next time hard to go gai gai already. =( This time got no photo to upload coz we didnt take any photo, just busy chatting.

I got to stop here loh, papa scold already n BB sms me, said he reach home already n want to sleep now. Tomorrow go dinner buffet with my family. =P

Nitezzz~~~ MUACKSSSS

Back~~~

Helloooooo everyone, Joanne is back. =) Almost 1 month didnt update my blog. HeHe... A bit lazy n busy but finally i still updated u all on my recently life.

I already start having fun on my new environment. Thanks to everyone who take care me in few weeks, im not lost anymore. Wahaha...

National Day Eve, i went for a gathering with all my primary school classmates. Happy to see all of them after 9 years. Year 2000, class 6M, cheer forever!!! ^_^

Then, start busy on the mid term exam n assignments. Haizzzzz... I didnt really do well on all the subjects. Must study hard now ooh. >.<

Another Saturday nite, went Japanese Buffet with BB at Subang Sheraton. It wasnt a good dinner for him. He ate the 'spoil' cherry tomatoes but im damn full.

Last Saturday nite, another gathering with primary classmates. Wohoho... At Sri Hartamas Souled-Out Restaurant then have beer at Mont Kiara. Great night again!!! =)

Yesterday clubbing nite with Sunway mates at MOS. Drunk plus high, we really enjoy. This is how we get closer with each others. CHIVAS + DANCE...

This coming weekend still got many things to do, stay tuned for my updates ya. I just roughly share my dayzzz but will have more details soon. Wahaha~~~ MUACKSSSS

New Environment

第三个星期我来到这个新环境。老实说，我真的很不习惯。我很想念Sunway的大伙儿，因为他们都很疼我。他们最近都忙着assignments，希望9月9日能跟他们碰面。

今天，是我在KDU的第一个presentation。虽然没有以往的紧张，但是我依然希望能做到最好。=）有点骄傲噢。。。很开心这次的presentation，我跟他们的关系大有进步。

很搞笑的事情又发生的，我以前在Sunway曾经有人误会我是韩国人，因为我的肤色咯。今天，又人以为我不是大马人，因为我的英文腔哦。哈哈。。。

还有哦。。。我也曾被以为我是中国‘婆’。有点粗俗咯。。。因为我的华语有台湾腔而已啦。我可是土生土长的马来西亚华侨啊。不要再误认我了~~~

再过两个星期，我的Marketing，Food Costing和French就要Mid-Term了。好可怕哦。。。我到现在只准备了Food Costing。Marketing只读了1个chapter。你讲死不死~~~

十月还要交2个assignments，我的日子该如何过啊？？？救。。。命。。。啊。。。唉，像妈妈说的，咬紧牙根挨过去咯。十二月就毕业了，值得的~~~

好啦，我该睡了。这个周末会有很多事情分享哦。不要错过啊。。。晚安各位亲爱的~~~

Final Nitezzz

I leave my house from last Friday till today. Already 5 days i dont see my lovely parents n i miss Chocolate BB very much. Within this 5 days, i try my best to ignore n temporary forget the internship case but came to last night, everything get back to my mind. I cry coz i know once they take the final heavy decision, i will suspend from the school and i cant do anything on it already. I keep telling myself not to worry but is hard. I make she worry n disappointed again. I dont dare to cry in front of her, she feel sad n down as what i feel from the day i terminated. I hate to see she cry in front of me as i promise her a lot of things. I thought she can proud of me, i damaged her hope at the moment i did the serious fault. She love me more than she love herself, this is what papa told me. I regret but is too late. All the day i try to comfort her, but last Thursday i decided to step out from my house coz i dont know how to create another story to claim her down. She try to call me this few days but i seem like simply answer her call, i dont want she ask anything about the case already as i know i already exhausted from it. I think to msg them but i didnt, i just dont want worry cover another worry. I take this lesson as a study, take the punishment as a journey but i need time to disgest all these, is really too heavy for me. Im sorry for all these even is too late. Sorry to all, i think u all will know who i mentioned. I love u all in my heart deeply...

Mistakeeeeee

Today suppose to be my last 2nd day on the internship but i damaged everything coz i did something which is very very serious & no one can give excuse on it. I made fake MC n this found out by the training coordinator. She called to my college, they actually decided to terminate me from the internship. =(

I admit my fault for doing all these things, i also apologize n wish to get a chance to try again but it is fail. College lecturer ask me to wait for 2nd hearing from SWE panel and the training coordinator said that terminate is the final decision of hotel since my mistake is too serious. She said want to treat every trainees fair.

Within the whole 5 months, i have been very be careful on my every single steps coz i dont want to repeat the internship. I tried my very best to do all the tasks which ordered from bosses, even sometime im not happy on that but i still finish it bcoz i know this is the time i must go thru. I dont blame anyone but only myself coz i did that.

Why i can accept apologize from the others but the others cant accept from me??? Why i can forgive ppl even they do something very wrong but ppl cant forgive me on the mistake??? I regret on doing all this, i rather tell the truth instead of now~~~TERMINATED... Im sorry for the fault i did, sincerely apologize to all of u. SORRY...

Cheras Neway

Last night went to Cheras Neway and have a super great night at thr. =) Jeff, Fong(Jeff's GF), Jack, Ray(BB) n me!!! 1st, welcome back Jeff n Jack(working at Philippine for long long time). No need to quarantine at home for 7 days. Wakaka...

We went thr at 12 midnight but go to the wrong Neway(miscommunication). Coz need to drive so dont drink much, just half bottle of Kampai Ice, share with BB de. The 3 brothers(Jack, Jeff n BB) sing together last night, 张卫健~~~你爱我像谁. Wonderful match leh... =)

The 2nd time i went sing K with BB. 1st time, he only sing 2 songs but last night he break his record, 7 songs ooh!!! Got 4 is chinese song loh. He is a banana so we all really suprised when hear he sang chinese songs. GENG arrr...

I also sang till no voice already last night. Till 4 oclock morning then we back loh. Neway staff too careless already, they miscounted n im the one who not include in the charge. HeHe... See i so smart, walked away(actually with a call la).

We took a lot of photos but all the photo now with Jeff. Once i get it then will upload it immediately. Another secret, i got record when BB sang last night. Wahaha... It will not be uploaded but i will keep it. =)

At last, thanks to Jack n Jeff for treating us for the night. Jack, u r a really gentleman, so sayang me all the time like Sou(Kenzo). Jeff, u r a great Brother n BF. Love u all so much, u all r my big brothers!!! MUACKSSSS... ^ ^

好走

我的心一天比一天痛。我辛苦了那么久，我真的以为雨后会有晴天，谁知道你又纵容她出现在我们之间。我可以做的，都已经做完了，我问心无愧。你不体谅我，不顾及我的感受也无所谓了，我累得连哭的力气都没有。我只想过回以前那种单纯又简单的生活。一波一波的风浪在我身上划过，我忍着痛，不曾埋怨半句。我虽然没有别人的生活艰苦，但是我也吃过苦头。为什么当我学会珍惜的时候，你没有给我机会？？？你在我身上留下的伤痕还不够多吗？？？我在地府绕了一圈，你难道都忘了吗？？？她对你是什么？？？你可以为她的一句话而低声下气，对我却像女佣般地刻薄。你知道的，我从来没有埋怨。今天我终于压抑不了心里的感受了。。。对不起，我想要的你却不能够给我，你能给的却又不是我想要拥有的。再见不如怀念。。。

**Have add in some new stuff in my blog. My profile with picz and also a fake mini iPod with My Song of The Week. =) Wish u all will like the song. Can do recommend some song for me also...

独自的快乐

我尽量让自己快乐，因为我总以为只要我快乐，我身边的人就会与我分享那份快乐。原来是我太天真，快乐不能分享的。即使你想别人分享，别人也不会领情的。

原本愉快的周末却因为有人的‘无心’或‘有意’，就这样结束了。勉强让自己的笑容挂在脸上，只是不想其他人受影响。我不是伟大，而是谅解。。。

两个人的梦想，现在却只有一个人努力，哪还有意思吗？？？当初的承诺又在哪里？？？我还是那么地傻，继续为那没有结果的梦想而奋斗。我应该放手了吧！！！

我不再给自己任何借口去伤心了，也不为你找借口，我很早就醒了。我的眼泪早就没有为你而流了，该走的还是会走，我不会苦苦哀求停留，保留。。。

累了，该休息了。明天起来还是阳光普照的一天，我会好好地走每一段路，我坚强了。。。

慌

昨天因为一些事情让我的心情一直很不好受。不明白为什么要那么自私去伤害其他人？？？难道就不能为别人想想？？？是因为我太软弱，所以才会一直被欺负？？？

被利用，被作弄。。。这就是我用真心换回来的结果吗？？？我都知道，只是不出声。如果你们坚持要爬上我头来，我也会发飙的。我的容忍是有极限的。

请不要在我身上找任何的好处，不然我会让你很难看。我已经受够了你们，不要让我指名道姓的把你们一一公开，即使会失去友谊，我也不在乎。

我知道只要你（BB）在，你绝对不让其他人欺负我，但是这次你在我身边却帮不了我。我不能告诉你事实，因为我错了。我的任性让我隐瞒了这一切，对不起。。。

GiRLs' Day

I think almost 1 week plus i dont update my blog. HeHe... Sorry frenzzzz, busy on my things la. Last night Ryan dear remind me about that. SEE... Now i update it loh.

Have a simple but happy lunch with my dears, AhHoay & WheiYing. The last time i met with them is my birthday party and we promised must hang out for meal. Finally, we did it. HaHa... Actually is bcoz i always busy on my stuff so got less time to meet up with them.

Still remember when they 1st move to IMU, we always go for meal and also night market. I miss the time with them. We chat a lot, this is how our relationship run, meet less but stay close. = ) Both of them is really my close buddy at Taylor's till now, we r husband n wife relation. Wakaka...

AhHoay, i like ur hair, perfectly fit u loh. U look pretty with the hair. 'SUI ZHA BOH'... My dear WheiYing, u r now a SUPERWOMAN. Take part in so many challenges and still an attractive gal. Like to go out with both of u, i really relax when with u all. = P

We must hang out again when ShangNeng & SongJie they all back from UK. Miss these 2 genius and Eric as well. Aikssss... We dont take any picz today, i cant show off to others la. HaHa... = P Must show off coz 2 pretty babies have lunch with me.

As what my dears said, im a happiness lady now. Is true coz i dont think that much like last time. Happy go lucky!!! = ) Muackssss...

LaLaLaLa

Already 27th of May. This 2 days wasnt a good days for me, headache made me very suffer. Not enough or sleep too much??? I also dont know... Mr. Haedache, can u please take a rest???

Last night when i told u that, my heart really pain coz i know it going to happen soon but it is a MUST for me to do that. I thought u will just ignore like last time but finally i received ur msg. I know u concerned about that, i read from ur msg, different from what u sent me last time.

Just like what i told u, i dont wish to have any changes on anything. Nobody can give a 100% promises on it even myself. What i can do is only try, try and try. I dont know whether u can do the same things as me or not, i still believe on it.

R u thinking the same things as i think??? R u doing the same things as i do???

Im Happy

How was ur Sunday??? Me... Slept like a pig until he 'disturb' me. Wakaka = )

Had a super normal breakfast but with a lot of planning. Just wondering why he will spend his time with me for all the things which he doesnt like. HeHe... We go shopping!!!

From Carrefour to G2000 after that Carl's then back to G2000. Both of us like to go Carrefour, we can start being aunt uncle comparing the price. HaHa... This is what we will do every month coz he need to buy Maggie Mee. Yesterday i realize that the Cintan Mushroom Soup is buy for his parents. Such a 'GOOD' son. = P

G2000 is me who want to buy suit coz having sales!!! At 1st see a lot of ppl so we decide to go for our lunch at Carl's. RM39.30, he come out with this 'my heart very pain' when he see this amount. Wahaha... We normally will not eat expensive fast food coz i will always save the money for him but yesterday he promises will bring me thr while he 'disturb' i slept. = )

Sometime i feel that we got nothing to chat on phone, MSN or even sms but when eat together, we can actually chat non-stop. This always make me eat very very very slow. HeHe... Busy on chatting. Then he will start complaint, 'Why u eat so slow de? The burger still got half till now.'! Excuse me, is bcoz of the burger too big n my mouth too small la!!!

My G2000 suit is he choose for me de. Before we reach thr, that is a funny story. We pass by Ace Hardware, he said let's go in. Of course i will ask why coz we dont need any hardware. He told me want to buy needle. Buy needle for what??? To make the suit. ZzZzZzZzZzZz... His brain can turn very fast when come to make fun on me. But i still laugh non-stop, he did that too.

Lastly, back home sleep like pig again. He knows me, i hate ppl disturb me when i sleep expect for him. = ) The way we love each other, understanding in heart and keep in mind. Muakssss...

I wish u all have a great day. ^_^

H-U-R-T

The heart feel very pain now and i cant stop my tears from falling. Im ready to go, go to a place where i can have a new begin. I can start all over again just to hide my 'scars' at Malaysia. If i dont meet up with all of these fellows, i will not get the moment of suffering right now. Once u disappear, please dont step in to my life again. U wouldn't know how much u hurt me, please bring all ur things go out from my life. I dont want to see even ur shadow. I try to be brave to stand for all these, i loss at the time my tears fall.

WHO WILL LOVE ME IF I DONT LOVE MYSELF...

痛心

你對512記得多少？？？其實這個日子對很多人來說可能普普通通，但是對中國四川的每個百姓而言，那是烙印在心中的痛。512四川大地震，你還記得嗎？那天翻開報章，我看到每篇報導，心裡真的覺得很酸，很疼。短短的几個小時里，上萬個家庭支離破碎，陰陽相離。這殘忍的事實吹毀了多少人的希望，帶走了多少人的未來？？？各國的救災行動幫助災民表面上的痛，心靈上的創傷卻無法彌補，復原。聲聲對親友地呼喚，都代表他們的思念。

另一個故事就是最近被謀殺的中五女生。是因為嫉妒，報復，還是錯手的殺害？？？對於這件事，我的感觸更深，因為不好的遭遇曾經降臨我的人生，差點讓我站不起來。還好有你們。。。珍惜雖然很容易說，很容易寫，但是又有几個人真的作到？？？我也剛剛起步學著珍惜。我知道你們對我的關心和保護，也不希望過去的歷史再從演，我自己也不希望，因為我的心比誰都痛。我學會了愛自己，所以歷史不會再從來，我也希望你們相信。

今天選擇用中文來講述這兩篇新聞，因為這是我的母語，是我的傳統，是我的教育，更是我的驕傲。每個字都代表著我此刻的心情。。。不要把你的快樂建築在別人的痛苦上。不要把你的慶幸踐踏在別人的不幸上。不要把你的幸福寄託在別人的悲痛上。在別人的傷口上撒鹽，不只是身體上的折磨，更是精神上的虐待。請停止你這殘忍的行為，愛他們多點吧！！！

LOVE PEACE......

Here It Go

I think Ryan will know what the purpose of these photos... = )

P/S: Frenz... Give me some comments on the photos. = )

Im Fine

Suppose to have breakfast with BB this morning but stomach pain so the appointment canceled and he go out-station. = ( This sad face is bcoz stomach pain.

Finally i remember to collect the clothes which i sent to dobi. HaHa... Almost 1 week plus i leave the clothes at the dobi shop. Back home and choose the new photos with my leng lui mama. My leng zai papa see i using the 'old' laptop, he popped up with this 'Why use this slow laptop?'. Wakaka... That is his laptop and now using by my youngest sister. He also know the laptop very very slow. = P

Another day having breakfast with my leng lui mama. Chat a lot with her, some more hint her for something but she seem like dont get it. Haizzzz... Is ok, time will show what i do and what i need. She keep reminding me to clean my room. She bought me a new wardrobe last month, my clothes and bags already full fill in it. My study desk......... Many mountains on the desk. HaHa... Lazy to keep it but still have to do it within this month. = )

Thanks alot for my lovely frenz's concern. Im really ok, i do promise will stay happy always and my smile will always on my little face. ^_^ Muackssss...

Editor Joanne

Wahaha... Im too boring already. That's why i posted 3 posts in a day. I edit some of my photos but not good like what the others did. I still need help on editing photo, please HELP... = )

Tuesday Afternoon

Ermmmm... After sharing the suck guy, now want to say something else as what i said Joanne's life still go on. = P

This morning wake up coz have a breakfast appointment with my leng lui mama. HaHa... What a fool??? Mama have to make an appointment with the daughther for breakfast. This is bcoz Joanne is a pig(always sleep). Even my darling(s), dear(s) and BB also must make appointment with me. Im so sorry for that but u all have to do it. HeHe... I will try to change de, give me some time ya. = )

Hakka cuisine breakfast, 'lei cha'. Healthy meal but not tasty as my aunt from Seremban who cook that. Wakaka... Homemade is always better than outside. Today dont eat much, order a small portion and share with leng lui mama, of course order other dishes also. This breakfast is not only both of us, my grandma and Aunt Mimi go together. = )

I having a very good mood after Sunday night. Wohoho... I think im on the way of simple and happy life. = ) ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY...

Liar ~~ KL

WTF... Can a guy being so cheap in his life??? Keep lying the others just bcoz of his own happy n comfortable feeling. Damn useless la... KL, u r a liar!!! U can just blame the other gals not good and bla bla bla but how about urself. NOT SINCERE to the gals also. Nobody born to make u happy, nobody live coz of u. Frenz r not rubbish. When u dont need them, u can just delete them from ur list. When u r happy, u add them back to ur list. U dont know how to appreciated, USELESS MAN!!! U r nothing at all... Stop ur shit words before ppl look down on u. Stop coming out to spread ur 'virus' as well. Hate to meet u in my life, u r another black spot in my life. U r not qualified to be my frenz also. Get lost from my life...

Dear frenz, i think u all know me well. If i dont get angry till that limit, i will not say something so bad on a person and some more posted on my blog. I think i have good enough to this fellow coz i still hidding his name by using KL, he himself should realize that. Sorry for being so rude in this post coz i really cant stand it. Joanne can be very nice to anyone, i just wish to make more frenz in my life. Unfortunately, i have met with 2 'frenz' which dirty my life and made me have a bad memories on that. Haizzzz... Joanne's life still go on. CHEERS UP EVERYONE = P

Lovely Sunday

Morning... Morning... Morning... Do nothing in this morning but just feel lovely when i wake up from my bed. = P The following stories dont affect my super good mood today coz all happened on yesterday, already PAST.

1st PART------>
Last night when for SUSHI at MidValley. I was so so so full~~~ Teriyaki, Shashimi, Miso Soup, Sushi... Thanks for giving me a great night of dinner. I know u not really like to eat Japanese food but we were still thr last night. Chat a lot... Eat a lot... Drink a lot(green tea)... Enjoy my dinner!!!

Happy to know that u r not going to Ipoh tomorrow. = ) HeHe... Coz u no need to stay overnight at thr. Maybe we can hang out again tonight. Make it as a wonderful weekend even im a bit busy on my stuff.

P/S: No picz coz too many ppl at thr, paiseh to take picz and busy on eating. = P

2nd PART------>
Have my supper as well with my parents. Chat with my papa and get to know a lot of things which made me not really happy on it. I do promise myself, i will fight for it. = ) Coz Joanne is strong enough to fight for her ownself. Wakaka... Sound like superwoman ooh.

Again i want to bring out this, 'Forgive but not Forget'. How well u can understand this phase??? He/She did something wrong before, 'forgive' is to give he/she a chance, 'not forget' is remember that incident as a lesson. Unfortunately, i found that u havent forgive and also forget.

Life is simple, full with expression. Why make it so complicated??? Can it just back to the start point, as long as im happy then u will feel happy too??? I love u all more than anything/anyone coz U R MY FAMILY. Is only 4 words but it contains so much of meaning in that.

3rd PART------>
Nightmare these 2 nights. Arrrr...... Ghost on the wall, i think i watch too many horror movie. Very scary in the dream. Frenz, remember not to invite me for any horror movie if u r not planning to sleep with me at the night. Only offer for ladies, guys will kill by my parents if sleep with me. Wakaka... Uncle Nightmare please dont come to find me already.

His promise with other conditions. Haizzzz... M i worry too much or it will happen in one day?? He will just fooling around but sincere to me??? Then how about future??? Guys, what do u think about fooling around??? Come to this again and again, when he will awake from this??? Wish to slap until he wake up. HaHa... ^_^ Joanne going to get mad soon.

4th PART------>
About her... At 1st i really wish she will happy in her new relationship coz i know JxxxN is very bad to her. Come to KxxxY, he is a good guy from all but he already married. That is a lot of issues in between. What i want to say in this case is,
a) Love is not hurting anyone.
b) Revenge on a relationship is such a shame of urself.
c) Replacement is not allow in relationship.
d) Giving up not means u r loser.
e) Anger and evny come from true love.

Dear, i wish u will see these. I dont know how to talk to u on phone. I feel sorry to support u on starting the relationship. Whatever i see and hear now is a cruel fact to all of u who involved. Make urself step out from the circle, maybe u can see something different on it.

Share with u guys till here, i got to busy on my stuff again. Muacks... Happy Sunday!!! = P

*#@?!% Saturday

'*#@?!%' means dont know how to describe the day. = P

Wake up early today coz got to fetch my little sister to school then back home sleep again. Joanne=PIG is proven. HaHa... Dont know when i start sleep like dead ppl, what time, what place also can sleep. Let see what i do in this morning...

Having breakfast with Livia at cafeteria(bread with tea ice), we planning about our holiday. How long time i dont go for holiday already??? Studying + Working = Hardworking. HeHe... = ) Suppose to go HongKong next month but the swine flu make my trip no longer cancel. Now some more come in to Malaysia.

Then start reading newspaper but help my little brother to find a new college coz he said he want to stop his SAM programme at Taylor's. Ermmm... Is that course really hard??? Dont know what this fellow thinking also. But hate his attitude, always think that he is the PRINCE at home. WTF...

Now blogging plus thinking my SUSHI night and my FUTURE. A bit regret when i realize most of my frenz doing so professional right now such as medicine, law, dentistry, pharmacy and bla bla bla... 1st, regret to give up my Senior Middle 3 life which make me lost a UEC Certificate. 2nd, regret not entering pharmacy course after A-Level. Haizzzz... = (

Am i stupid??? Got regreting feel at this moment. I really enjoy in hotel this industry coz i make a lot of frenz and i know what i really want in future. On the other hand, thr is something missing which i requested from secondary school till... CONFUSE again!!! Already 21st yrs old, so i cant start all again.

My dearest frenz... Please give me some comments, bring me back to the way. Another 6 or 7 months to go then i will finish my Hotel Management Course at Sunway. Time gone so fast from the day i leave Taylor's till now, almost 2 years already. They know i miss them, PM13...

Let see some of my recent photo after reading my story...

P/S: Snap all this picz while waiting him for supper and the lovely bear bear from PM13. = )

Can U Understand Me

From 7th of May till 11st of May, is only 5 days but why i feel like we r so far away from each other again... Is something wrong to my feeling or something bad going to happen soon??? At 1st, im so happy to see u put our picz on ur display. This kind of feeling doeesnt last long...

I can forgive but i cant forget... Most of ur words hurt me like roses' thorn. I will not know when the words will pop-up but it is ALWAYS. I cant get what u think now. I should say in this way, after the gal appear, u change a lot. I thought i know u well last time. Unfortunaly, i failed. What position im now holding as? Even myself is confused.

I just wish to care to u. In ur mind, im disturbing u. I slept with my tears this few night. I want u sayang me more coz u know that i can only get that from u. Why u want to be so cruel to me? All the things i did for u is not enough to make u satisfied on the relationship? Or maybe im wrong... Relationship shouldnt have a point of satisfied???

Can we just sit down n heart talk for a while? At least i know what u want, i know what to do. Instead of now, being a stupid idoit run here n thr just try to make u smile. I dont know how long can i continue to do all these for u but i know is not long like last time.

Will u read this? Will u know my feeling right now? Will u...

12nd of May

Today got 3 stories will share with u all, i will make them in 3 different posts.

1st, let's talk about MOTHERS Day last Saturday(we celebrated 1 day earlier). I suppose to wake up at 6 o'clock to go market and buy all the stuff but is slept till 7am. I just spend 30 minutes to get all my ingredients in the wet market. Wow... How fast is that??? = )

When reach home, 45 minutes i used to clean all the ingredients plus cook the 'lao huang gua' soup. Remember my menu??? 4 dishes with a soup. Excellent, right??? I have finished prepare all my things before 9am that morning. End up, i take a nap on the sofa while waiting my grandma bring me the fried fish powder.

I start cooking the 4 dishes at 10 something coz i know my leng lui mama will not wake up so early n the dishes can be presented on the dining table at 10:45am. HaHa... I can manage my time very well now. This is how a littel Chef look like. = P Ermmm... I nearly forget to cook rice, luckily i saw the rice cooking pot. Everything go well that day expect for my tougue!!!

'Want to try???'

'Nice leh!!!'

Haizzz... I think my tougue got some problems. When i tasted all the dishes, it really taste good, i mean it. However, when they had they breakfast that time, i was told that the fried egg with tomato is without salt, the vegetable is too waterly, and the sweet & sour fish got a weird smell. Grrrr... WHY??? WHY??? WHY??? Only the soup n sambal sotong are nice. = (

'Lao Huang Gua' Soup
Fried Egg with Tomato
Sweet & Sour Fish Fillet
Sambal Sotong

Vegetable

A bit disappointed la... But i saw she(leng lui mama) smile, this is my point to cook the breakfast on earlier MOTHERS DAY. She was so happy that morning. After everyting finished, i really turn to be a dead pig. Wakaka... Too tired already, of course i bath before sleep, be a clean dead pig. =

'Leng Lui Mama busy on tasting'
'SEE... she smile...(just wake up)'

End of the meal...

'Still leave half pot'
'Forget to add SALT'
'Weird taste'
'Yummy Yummy'

The same day, we went to Genting to continue our MOTHERS Day. HaHa... Unfortunately, i forget to took picz at Genting coz busy chatting with my cousin, Randy. Long time dont have fun with him, talk a lot that day. We went to casino also, Joanne already 21st yrs old. = )

*P/S: Now then i realize, my picz missing. HaHa... @~@