Almost The End of Year 2009

What i did recently??? What happen recently???

I have a big problem on my University room at Switzerland. I'm so sad on it, the miscommunication make me got to delay my study aboard time from January to August. I wish it can be settled but it failed. =(

Clubbing with Michelle gang everyday from 19th December till 27 December and drunk drunk drunk every night. Don't ask me why I drunk every night, I don't want to explain. My dearest will know what's going on to me.

Other than clubbing, I went shopping with dear Nicole on 23rd of December at Times Square. Pass her the Christmas gift but i spend RM1000 on that day. Bought Espirit shirts and Puma stuff and 2 pieces of shirts. Enjoy the day with my dear, mUaCkSsSs~~~

Celebrate Year 2009 Christmas Eve with my primary school friends at The E-Curve, Library. I went dinner with SeikYing at The Fish Manhattan. Very full cause 2 of us eating 3 people meal but is delicious and worth. =D

Now waiting for New Year Eve and all the party before and after New Year. My schedule is already full with parties, appointments, dates and bla bla bla. After all these, I got to be very hardworking on jobs and be good girl again. =P

*Love everyone who love me

*Miss everyone who miss me

*Care everyone who care me

*Kiss everyone who kiss me

“你们”

我哭了~~~ 我再也压抑不了那种心情了。我没有你们想象中的坚强，我也有想要依靠的时候。我不是不倒翁，因为我终于倒了。。。

我不曾埋怨，我努力向前，你们有看到吗？？？我努力了这么多年，我从来没有要求任何的奖赏。你们让我一次又一次地失望了。

我情愿你们不曾给我希望，至少我现在不会失望。我做的多好，那又怎样？？？因为这一切，只有我自己知道，我自己珍惜。

我不会再问了，我选择放弃，因为我不想再痛了。既然没有奇迹，我就继续我应该走的路。我不问，也请你们不要过问我的生活。

我接下来的路有多辛苦，也不再是你们的忧虑了，也不再是你们的问题了。我该做的，我必定会办妥，我会坚强为自己走下去。

1 Day before X'Mas

What i going to do during this Christmas? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and the right person is not with me on the celebration. I prepared everything but it seems like a lonely Christmas for me cause you no longer with me. Where are you??? The distance is so close but the feeling is so far. I promise myself not to cry anymore but I just lost control. Still remember i told you about the sticker photo things??? I'm waiting you to make it come true even I know it is mission impossible. I don't want to have my Christmas meal alone, I wish you will accompany me. I want all the photos about this White Christmas with you. Let me have a great memory before I go cause I know this might be the last time. I want nothing on this Christmas but only YOU.

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

Wish all of you, Merry Christmas~~~ =)

Chocolate BB

He is my BB, Chocolate(very leng zai loh). He is mixed of ShihSzu and ???(no idea who is the father). He came to my house already 3 years ++ and officially he is my son. HeHe~~~ I love him so much cause.....................(personal reason).

Last year, he went for an operation to cut off his tail. He was too boring on his life and start biting his tail. Imagine how silly is him!!! 2 times he did that and the doctor said must cut off the tail, we got no choice. =( Now he become a tail-less BB but still look cute and a bit naughty(actually is playful). I cried together with him when he admitted in hospital, i think is my fault for being so careless.

My whole family love him deeply and he being manja by everyone. He scared on thunder but like to play with water. He will walk here and there when thunder or even fireworks happened but go out during rainy day. Just like drama, somebody worry on something and start walking in the living room. HaHa~~~

Almost 3 years, he still barked to the postman and the newspaper deliver man. This seems like his habit, maybe is the way he communicate to them by asking 'How are you today my brother?' >.<>

My papa like to talk to him before he locked all the door, 'Chocolate, go sleep now' or 'Chocolate, where are you?' My mama like to massage him with her leg and he enjoy very much, even have a smile face. My grandma, 'Go out to look after the house' when he came in the living room. Me??? 'BB, kiss kiss', 'BB, mama sayang', these are what i usually say. He like to stick with me and he know when to stick with me.

Smart BB... When I'm not happy, he know that and he will just lying beside me and keep quiet. Recently, he bing very EMO. I'm wondering what happen to him but i realize my maid who take care him all these time back to Indonesia so maybe he miss her a lot. He eat very little currently, 1 meal per day. End up, my sister got to buy some snack for him. See... How we love him!!! ^_^

BB, will you miss mama when mama is not here??? Mama will miss you a lot cause I Love You.

这就叫“朋友”

认识你，应该是我人生另一个成长的记录。你教会了我，朋友是用来：出卖，利用，背叛！！！不需要否认，这一切你都作了，而且不是一次了。你要我怎样去相信你，怎样去继续我们的友情？？？你那虚假的脸，让我很想吐，甚至从你口中说的每一句话，我现在都觉得很恶心。我掏心跟你当朋友，如今换来你现在给我的所有，“谢谢你”。我不会再相信你的话，因为我看清楚了。不要逼我把你的面具撤下来，我还不想那么绝情。我不像你，我还是人，有血有泪，有情有义。送你一句话，人在做，天在看！！！

很累咯

我不止是身体的累，也对周遭的事物感到很累。最近都在凌晨或是早上才入睡，下午才起床，胃口也不好，一天才吃1到2餐。在所有人眼里，我的生活很充实，时间都排得满满的。一个接一个节目，基本上我应该不会觉得闷，但是我都把这些节目一一推掉，只想留在家里，关在房里，除了工作，我就在家。现在你知道我的累是怎样来的咯。。。

我在KDU的期末考试，下个星期就要领成绩了。换句话说，我出国深造的时间也正式进入倒数。前天晚上接到大学的通知，我的房间出了问题，弄得我有点不开心。可是，事实往往没有像计划中的美好。现在，我惟有再为房间的事情而头疼几天，应该不会有什么大问题吧！！！我出国后，你们会想我吗？？？会忘记我吗？？？ >.<

傻傻的树恩要出去了。。。我会继续update你们我的近况。想我，爱我哦！！！

Migraine

我的天啊。。。几乎虚脱，偏头痛又回来了。

早上8点到傍晚6点，我这整天都被它折磨，痛得我只会哭。

我吃错东西了吗？？？

刚刚检查最近吃的，做的。。。

Chocolate吃多了，sunshine对多了，睡觉时间短了，也因为这样偏头痛回来了。

我不敢跟妈妈说，不然一定会挨骂的。

如果我到了瑞士，“它”来找我的话，我该怎么办啊？？？

HaizZzZz。。。不想了，顺其自然吧！！！

这几天都忙着工作和圣诞节的事情，少不了深造咯。

你呢？？？跟我分享一下你的近况啦！！！

还是那句，我很快乐，很开心。。。=)

逼近

看着每一秒钟在我身边擦身而过，我很想捉住这些时间，可惜那只是我想而已。我还怕失去，所以一直纠缠，到现在我要学会放开，其实那样大家都会好过点，至少我现在很快乐。

开始在忙大学的所有手续，我的心突然变得很承重，就连步伐也让我觉得很吃力。我知道为什么，每个人都在担心我。外表很独立，其实内心却很粘家，从来没有一个人离开家里，更别说是现在要出国深造。

我故意把时间填满，工作和玩乐让我暂时忘记深造的事情。我很享受现今的生活，因为我每天都在笑着。我身边的你们也一样吗？？？我最近作了一个承诺，我不会乱想其他，只想维持每一段友谊，好让我的世界是完美的。友谊万岁。。。

妈妈又来了，她很忧虑了，她的每一句话变得很“无理取闹”。她的担忧让我忍住泪水，强挤笑容去安慰。我是你的骄傲，以前是，现在是，将来也是。你可以放心，我会学习成长的。答应你的，我一定会做到，因为我很爱你，妈妈。

身边的朋友也开始知道我深造的事情。我开始在你们的脸上看到不舍，也在我的脸颊摸到泪水。我的世界因为你们而精彩，也因为你们无时无刻地陪伴，我快乐了。记得，不准哭。等我转身离开的时候，我们才哭，我真的会不舍的。

这是写给妈妈和朋友的。。。迟点我会一一点名来记录我们的日子。

FRIENDS FOREVER

3:48am

现在已经是凌晨3点多了，我还是不能入睡。刚刚吃完一大碗冷冷的爱玉冰，如果被妈妈知道，我想一定被她狂骂一顿了。说得也奇怪，最近我老是在半夜的时候吃一大堆东西，我真担心会变胖妹妹。我要开始控制了~~~


昨天从我睡醒开始，妈妈就跟我谈起深造的事情，我甚至有点不耐烦了。我不是故意要发脾气的，我害怕面对，所以用很不好的语气去跟她聊。对不起，我不是故意的。断断续续，我们聊了差不多3个小时，因为要出门，所以对话暂停了。

跟她聊天的画面反反复复地浮现在我的脑海里，我很想传简讯像她道歉，为了我不礼貌的语气而道歉，最终我还是没做到。树恩，你到底在搞什么啊？？？我知道她为什么要一直问我同样的问题，但是我不想老是提着。

晚餐回到家，爸妈都还没睡。突然，他们开始了我深造的话题，我无奈地坐在客厅又开始同样的话题。那一瞬间，我知道大家都已经接受那是一个事实了。她的一句话，我看到她笑得很不自然，眼睛红红的，我知道她哽咽了。

她担心，她忧虑，她不安。。。我除了向她解释，让她明白，我还能做什么？？？我不敢叫她放心，我知道她一定办不到，她只会变本加厉地胡思乱想。妈妈，树恩爱你，树恩疼你，树恩只想你安康。

明白

5天了，我让大家担心了我5天。我真坏蛋，可是不准打我哦！！！>.<

“他”的来电很厉害，把我骂得狗血淋头，还哭到差点喘不过气，但是我想通了。就像“他”说的，如果感情一直是单方面在努力，那为什么不要把它简单化，就干脆当朋友。没想到，“他”比我更早领悟这番话。“你”也说过，我们会从朋友开始再出发。那。。。就让我们从新出发吧。=)

接下来的计划？？？好多东西要办哦！！！天啊。。。您能不能把1天的时间拉长至48个小时？？？因为我要用24个小时来睡觉&吃喝玩乐，18个小时来办我的东西，6个小时去打工。哈哈。。。好像是超棒的安排哦！！！

也是时候要想想圣诞节的礼物了，今年要什么呢？？？

1。相机（Digital, DSRL）

2。手表（CK, DKNY, Swatch）

3。手机（SE, Samsung, Blackberry）

4。手提电脑（Fujitsu, Sony）

5。包包（Gucci, DKNY）

还有很多的，我不好意思一次写完出来，显得我好像很贪心（其实我还蛮贪心的）。=p 有谁愿意一一实现我的愿望呢？？？你。。。就是你。。。不要回头看，是你啦。。。

实际上我今年只想跟我身边的好朋友和家人一起吃圣诞大餐，我就很满足了。可是我一定要吃自助餐，因为我可以一直吃，一直吃，直到时间到为止。哈哈。。。这就是我对自助餐的痴恋了。你们快点想想圣诞大餐的地点啦！！！

还有什么东西想做呢？？？去Genting Theme Park玩一整天，去溜冰，去Sunway Lagoon玩一整天，去拍大头贴，去clubbing。原谅我那么地好玩，因为到了瑞士，我就要努力，努力，再努力念书了。让我疯狂2个月吧！！！=p

有点累了，我去做猪咯。想我就打给我，SMS也可以。=）MUACKSSSS

Before I Leave

Haizzzz~~~ Finally i got the depart date already. =(

Not much ppl know i'm leaving soon, don't want to bring the sadness feeling so early to all my dearest fellow frenz. I wish to have fun with u all in the coming 2 months as what u all know I love U All so so so much.

1st, i told my dear Nicole before she went to China tour. I feel sad when i heard her voice, she is my best buddy in KL. She know a lot of me, she understand me very well and i do so. Thank God for giving me this best buddy. =)

Mama seems like don't want to i Switzerland now. She start giving all the non-reasonable reasons to stop me from going there. I know how she feel coz i'm her daughter forever. Just wanna let she know, MaMa~~~ Ann will take good care of herself over thr.

Papa didn't express much of himself in front of me, not even ask me anything about the study. I can understand why bcoz he know i can handle everything at Switzerland, he proud of me. I promise will do the best at thr. I swear...

Grandma hasn't know the news yet. Nobody wanna tell her, she will cry. These are what she always tell my mama, 'Ann very independent, i can sleep tight when you n ur husband are not in.' Guess how she will be when she know i'm leaving soon. T__T

My brother n sister just know a bit on it. The eldest sister doesn't want to let them know also. We are not so close to each other but i sayang both of them. Nothing got to change our relationship as a family. ^_^

Who else know i'm leaving??? Dawn, ShinYee, Apple, Shan, Nikki, Wills, etc... YOU knew that also. Are we trying to pretend??? We don't even talk about that to each other, is bcoz my tears??? I will appreciated the coming 2 months' times with YOU.

Another few more days to my final. I'm doing my revision everyday as what YOU told me. I will study hard. I love u, PAPA & MAMA & KELVIN & STELLA & POPO & YOU~~~ T___T

说出口

We did a great job on the Penang assignment and the presentation. Thanks to everyone who participated on the work, u all r the BEST. Dawn, ShinYee, Apple, Ro, Ali and Leian...

终于做了最后的决定，明年一月尾要到瑞士深造。我一直告诉所有的人，我不想流着眼泪看着你离开，所以自私地选择要流着眼泪，背着你离开。说穿了，还不因为‘不舍得’而已。不舍得现在的一切，但是深造是一定要完成的。早点完成，那以后就不会有那么多顾虑了。我不知道该如何告诉你，晚上跟你发简讯的时候，我们谈了心中的话。我希望这段时候，我们是幸福，快乐的，就像是我们一开始的时候。

好好准备接下来的每一科，一定要把它们击倒。我也会开始准备我的期末考。一起努力哦。。。

Notty Joanne

Finally im totally awake from hang over. Still remember i went to Coco Banana with friends last Saturday???

It should be a great night but i spoiled it. I don't even care about my own image. I know i not suppose to drunk at that night.

I need to work hard on the last assignment and also start revise on my final exam. Another 2 weeks to go, must fight for it. Let's study hard...

GAMBATEH~~~

Facebook

OMG... Day & Night with my laptop n Facebook ON. Fish World & Cafe World everyday. Worst, i even woke up in the midnight to play these games. Haizzzzzzzzzz... MaMa said childish Joanne, hardworking on playing game only!!! HeHe~~~ I think so but i enjoy the time. =P

FB-ing again at college. However my lovely darling Dawn like to play with these, hanged ppl pc by sending [!@#$%^&*()_+] msg thru Facebook. She always do that even i'm beside her. Notty Dawn, some more laugh when see our pc hanged. >.<

GTG to office loh~~~ Boring training n meeting. =.=" SMS me if u boring coz im boring also. Wahaha... xD

LiFe

Recently busy on my assignments and presentations plus working and meeting!!! Wanna know, am i happy now???

Mama ask about the further study again!!! I really got no idea loh. PlzZzZz... Can someone help me??? I'm so scared to move to a new place alone and so far away from all my lovely~~~ T____T As i know, u all proud of me n wish i can have better future but.........................

HaizZzZzZz... Hate to make decision!!! Is harder than solving add maths question. ^_^ Oppppssss... I leave out something on my last post, my French test 71/100. Can't believe i did well in the test leh. SMART JOANNE!!! HaHa~~~=)

My SE W910i was sent to 'hospital', auto on off everyday, i scared it will booooooom in a day. Wakaka~~~ During the moment i get my new phone coz dont want wait SE W910i 'discharge'. BLACKBERRY CURVE(11st Octorber 2009) is now with me!!! As a gift for myself la coz i so guai... =p

Must stop and go ooi ooit already, tomorrow morning got class. I will go if i manage to wake up on time. HeHe~~~ MUACKSSSSSSSSS